Confession Hymn (Father of My Dying Lord)
What a beautiful Wesley hymn, which comes from the 1742 "Hymns and Sacred Poems" hymnal. Based on 1 John 1:9, Wesley begins in confession but moves on to expect sanctifying grace.
Welcome to Wesley's Hidden Gems! This is the second one I'm doing. in the series I’m taking old, forgotten Wesley hymns - Charles Wesley's beautiful poetry - but these were the ones that never really got anywhere. They were forgotten. No one wrote music to them, at least according to Hymnary.org, which is a great hymn website. These were only published once, or maybe twice, and then forgotten. But I'm looking through these hymnals of Wesley's and finding these little hidden gems that I think are so beautiful and still worth singing today, and writing my own tunes to them.
This one comes from the 1742 hymnal Hymns and Sacred Poems, and it is song number 224. "Father of My Dying Lord" was only published the once, if I'm not mistaken.
I want to take you through these words so that you can see why I really like this song. There are five verses, and I think they are worth looking at. People who had this type of capability to write this type of poetry - we should try and keep this stuff alive, if it's worth keeping alive! Some of it is so archaic that it doesn't make sense anymore, but this, I don't believe, is. I read this and I thought: what a beautiful hymn of confession.
Song Heading - 1 John 1:0
What you'll notice is that it starts in the hymnal with a scripture. It says: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9.
You can see that Wesley wants to write a hymn of confession! I've called this the "Confession Hymn," and it's a beautiful prayer of confession that actually goes beyond confession to asking for cleansing. You'll see what I mean as we go.
Let me tell you that it has become something of a beautiful song in my own life, helping me to maintain this lifestyle of confession and bringing myself honestly before God. I think it gives expression to that in a way that very few modern songs do.
What Do the Lyrics of "Father of My Dying Lord" Mean?
Verse 1
Father of my dying Lord,
To whom I look for peace
This is a bit unusual, because Wesley often would directly talk to Jesus in his hymns - "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" etc. But here he's talking to God the Father. As you see at the end though, he's asking in Jesus' name, and this is a good way to pray: pray to God the Father in the name of Jesus.
Father of my dying Lord
To whom I look for peace
He's looking for peace because sin has taken that peace away from him.
Trusting in Thy faithful word
Lo! I my sins confess
This is classic Wesleyan emphasis on Scripture. The ground of our faith is not our feelings, but Scripture. We trust in His Word, and His Word, as we read in 1 John 1, says that if we confess our sins, we'll be forgiven. So he comes and says, "Lo!" - which is an expression of emotion - “I confess my sins.”
For Thy truth and mercy's sake
Grant the blessing which I claim
He is appealing to truth, to God's character as a merciful God. He's saying, please grant it. I'm claiming it by faith, but I'm trusting You to grant it.
Cast my sins behind Thy back
Now that was unusual to me at first. It made me think of Jesus rebuking Peter, saying, "Get thee behind me, Satan." I was wondering if that's what Wesley was talking about - was he saying that when we have sinned, we can go to Jesus who will cast the sin behind His back?
But then I discovered that this is actually based on a verse in Isaiah 38, where Hezekiah thanks God for having cast his sins behind God's back. So it's a beautiful way of praying for forgiveness, asking God to cast your sin behind His back.
I ask in Jesu's name
Typical of Wesley. Asking God for forgiveness in the name of Jesus - in other words, with your trust in Jesus. It's a beautiful pattern for prayer.
Isn't this heartfelt stuff?
Verse 2
Hast Thou not reversed my doom?
That's an interesting line. I bet you've never sung anything like that before in a song! He's saying: isn't it true that You have forgiven me? My “doom” is to be cast aside from God because of my sin. That is the doom we are all promised if we are not saved. But he says, You have reversed my doom. In other words: I am saved. You have saved me, and I believe it. I love those two lines.
So he's not talking about having rejected God and run away from Him. He's saying: I am a believer, but I am still struggling with sin. Confession is not a once-off thing for him. He is realising that even as he goes on as a Christian - as one who is saved - he still comes as a sinner.
Yet I still a sinner come
that Thou mayest still forgive
There's no arrogance here, no coming before God with his own good works or holiness to say, "Look how holy I've been." He's simply saying: I still need Your grace. Even though I'm truly saved, I still need Your grace to forgive me.
Wretched, miserable, and blind
Poor, and naked, and unclean
This all comes out of Revelation 3, where in the letter to Laodicea the church is described as wretched, miserable, poor, naked, and blind. Wesley is applying that to himself. He is realising that as he stands before God, he is so far short of Him that all he can do is come as he is, with all his uncleanness and nakedness. He's got nothing to bring.
Still, that I may mercy find
I bring Thee nought but sin
Listen to this. He doesn't say, "I'm so far gone I'm not even going to try." He says, "I'm so far gone, and so I'm going to bring this to God." In fact, that sounds a lot like a line in "Rock of Ages" - despite the fact that the Wesleys and the man who wrote "Rock of Ages," Augustus Toplady, didn't like each other. They were on different sides of the theological camp. Despite that, this sounds a lot like Toplady, who wrote, "Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling." Wesley's saying: I've got nothing to bring except my sin. That's how far I am, and how much in need of Your grace I am.
Verse 3
I have always equal need
Of Thy forgiving love,
What a beautiful line! I'll always need grace. No matter how far along in my Christian walk I've gone, I've got equal need of His forgiveness and His love in my life. Do you feel that way - that you need as much grace now as you did when you first believed?
Still do I the promise plead,
That I Thy truth may prove.
In spite of his ongoing need, he is pleading the promises he sees in the Word. Again, this is a Scripture-based thing. He sees in Scripture that he can be forgiven, and so he comes again.
Just, and faithful as Thou art,
That comes straight from 1 John 1:9, which describes God as just and faithful.
Hear me now my sins confess
He's saying: yes, I come and I confess. I lay them down before You.
Hear, and purify my heart
From all unrighteousness.
There's a bit of a shift here. He's not just asking for forgiveness anymore; he's starting to ask for cleansing - so that his heart is not just full of sin but forgiven, but that it's actually cleansed. This is the heart of Wesleyan theology: asking God for more than just forgiveness, but for a new heart, a cleansed heart!
Verse 4
Lord, I look to be made clean
From every sinful blot
All unrighteousness, and sin
In deed, and word, and thought:
So everything, all of the sin within his heart. I want it cleansed! I'm coming to You to receive this, hoping and trusting that You will do it.
This is such Wesleyan hope! That God will transform you, not just overlook your sin and put Jesus in front of you so that when He looks at you He pretends you're not sinful because Jesus is in front of you. No - Wesleyans believe that the grace of God imparts holiness to you, that you may actually be made clean of your sin and become a new creation.
Evil shall not here abide,
Sin shall have no place in me,
From th' iniquity of pride
And self I shall be free.
You can hear how it's become quite positive now. Not just "I'll be forgiven of these things but I’ll still stained by them," but "I'll be free" - free of evil, sin, self, and pride. This is the good news of the gospel: that you can be forgiven for sin and set free from it.
Verse 5
Verse five finishes with a beautiful, uplifting verse.
I shall be redeem'd from all
Again, all, everything. I'll be redeemed from it all. It’ll all be gone and it won’t carry on.
"Unless Thy Word is vain
Again that’s not what we believe - we believe the Word is trustworthy.
Here recover from my fall
my Eden here regain
This is beautiful Wesleyan expectation! The Wesleys saw in the Bible such hope that redemption is not just for heaven - that it's not only when you die that you will be able to live a kingdom life, a cleansed and victorious life. But now, here, you can recover from your fall by God's forgiving grace, and you can regain your Eden. Now that's powerful!
In Eden, before the fall, the image of God was on Adam and Eve. Then they fell, and every human being since has been broken. The image of God in each of us is marred by sin. But the saving grace of Jesus can regain Eden for you. It can cleanse you so that you live in perfect relationship with God again.
Jesus shall His image here
Perfectly in me restore,
There it is. He can restore that broken image in your heart. This is not just saving grace, it's sanctifying grace. It's grace that changes you into the person God created you to be. It's dynamic, and its healing, and its cleansing, and its sanctifying.
God shall in my flesh appear,
Now again, this is Wesleyan: not only at death can we be redeemed, but here in my flesh. Now, straight away some people are going to say, "Oh, this is sinless perfection, and it is a heresy." Well, the Wesleys never believed that we would be even remotely comparable to God. They believed it was still all grace, and that we would still make mistakes - errors of judgement, failures - and that we would never quite be able to be Christ-like in that sense, because He had a divine nature. We are still creatures, still human. But we can have the image of God restored within us and find victory over sin. That doesn't mean we don't need grace, and it doesn't mean we don't need to ask for God's love. Remember, he said, "I have always equal need of Thy forgiving love" - so I always need His grace! I cannot do anything without Him, but I can overcome sin by the power of the Spirit. You'll still be imperfect, you'll still mess up, but you won't be rebelling against God anymore.
God shall in my flesh appear,
And sin subsist no more.
He will come and live within you, and He will work His grace out in the way you live your life. Sin will not subsist anymore. It will not continue to just dominate my life.
Conclusion
Did you see the flow there? It started very downcast because of sin. He asked for forgiveness. He asked for cleansing. And then he looked and said: I need more than that - I need transformation, I need the Spirit within me so that my flesh is conquered and I can live the regained Eden life.
What do you think? If you're a Wesleyan Holiness person, this is probably very exciting for you, as it is for me. If you're more from a Reformed background, this is probably pushing it a bit. You might be thinking: "But I sin every day in word and deed and thought, and God's grace just covers me." I used to believe that as well. And then I started to see in the New Testament a hope for more than that - that the New Testament writers, as far as I understand it, taught that you could be freed from sin, that you didn't have to go back to it anymore, that you could be truly holy. Still imperfect - not like Jesus or like God fully - because when you're glorified, when you die, then you'll be fully made into His image. But that here you can be holy, because He said: be holy as I am holy.
This song - I loved it. I called it the "Confession Song" and wrote it in E minor, with a very sombre feel to it. I'm sure you caught that as it started. It is a bit of a sombre song, but I love singing it because it reminds me that I'm always in need of His love, no matter how far along I've come in my journey. But I can find victory over sin. If I mess up - and I'll always be at risk of messing up - He is faithful and just to forgive. But if I walk in the Spirit, I will find victory over sin.
I hope you enjoy this. Let me know in the comments what you think of the song. Did it bless you? Is there a word, a line, or a verse that really spoke to you? Let me know what you think of the version I've written.
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Listen to this song. Maybe pray it as a prayer as you hear it. I hope you'll listen to it again and again and let it sink into your soul and bless you, as it has done for me.
