Reconcile by Forgiving
Yesterday we looked at our need to apologize when we've contributed to relationship breakdown. Today let’s examine the other side of reconciliation: forgiving and not holding grudges.
Remember, God will not fix things for us – He will help us to make things right. If we are unwilling to forgive, then our relationships remain broken. And the stakes are high when it comes to forgiving, because God is quite clear that if we don't forgive others, we are blocking ourselves from receiving His forgiveness. Ouch!
Breaking the Chains of Bitterness
But God can bring relationships back to life if we don't keep them in the ground by refusing to forgive.
There's a story told from the end of Civil War in the States, where a general was visiting a lady who showed him the remains of what had been an enormous, old tree. This tree stood directly in front of her house. She bitterly cried to the general of how its limbs and trunk had been shattered by the enemy's artillery fire. She poured out her anger and anguish about this, and looked to the old soldier expecting him to condemn the enemy troops for such a thing. But he was silent a moment, and then he responded, "Cut it down, ma'am, and forget it."
You see, it's better to forgive the injustices of the past than to let them take root! It's better to let something go than to let bitterness take root!
Forgiveness as a Reflection of God's Grace
Paul said this: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13 NIV11)
Consider that phrase “as the Lord forgave you”. God could've just held all your sins against you. But He is a God of forgiveness. Are you a person of forgiveness? Knowing the grace of God, do you forgive others? Or are you content to moan, complain, hold grudges, and see the worst in people?
Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending nothing happened. It doesn't mean the relationship instantly returns to what it was before. True forgiveness acknowledges the hurt but chooses to release the right for revenge. It's making the decision to no longer hold someone's actions against them.
Forgiving is Not Easy
Of course, forgiveness is sometimes a process rather than a one-time event. For deep wounds, you may need to forgive the same offense multiple times as the pain resurfaces. This doesn't mean your initial forgiveness wasn't genuine. Forgiving is not easy.
But I hope we will be quick to forgive and not hold grudges. If we refuse to forgive, we not only keep the relationship dead and buried, but we keep part of our own souls dead and buried! We deny ourselves the freedom of truly following in the footsteps of Jesus who forgave the ones who hurt Him.
Get alone with God today and lay out all your hurts and pain in prayer. And then ask Him for the courage to forgive as He forgave you. Ask Him for the courage to seek reconciliation where you can.
Our God is great. He raised Jesus from the dead. He can raise those dead relationships to life if we are humble enough to forgive as He has forgiven.
