Shake the Dust From Your Feet
As we close our week talking about resurrecting relationships, let me remind us today that not all relationships should be resurrected. We all know the damage that may be done when somebody keeps returning to an abusive relationship. Many relationships need resurrection, but some need to stay dead!
Recognizing Toxic Relationships
I have spoken much about apologizing and forgiving this week, but I hope that none of us will try to use this to justify getting back with somebody who led us away from God. Or to return to somebody who hurt and abused us. Or to keep pursuing somebody who rejected us and made it clear that they want to end the relationship. Poisonous relationships should not be brought back to life. If you're lucky enough to have escaped such a situation, stay out of it.
Sometimes the most spiritually mature decision we can make would be to establish firm boundaries with people who have demonstrated patterns of destructive behaviour. The Bible talks about staying away from the people who can lead you astray. It talks about ‘shaking the dust off of your feet’ when people reject you.
Relationships characterized by abuse, manipulation or disrespect are relationships where resurrection may not be God's immediate plan. In these cases, maintaining distance while praying for the other person might be the wisest course of action.
Wise Discernment
But I believe most relationships should seek healing and resurrection. Most broken relationships are in need of healing because the cause of the problem is often something that can be dealt with. The key is discernment - being able to recognize the difference between relationships that need resurrection and those that should remain at a distance.
Ask yourself these questions when considering whether to resurrect a relationship:
Does this relationship draw me closer to God and the people I love, or does it pull me away?
Has the person shown genuine remorse and a desire to change harmful behaviours?
Is there mutual respect, even in our disagreements?
Can I maintain my spiritual and emotional health in this relationship?
If you're unsure, seek godly counsel from trusted friends, pastors, or counsellors who can help you see clearly. Enlisting the help of others helps us when our own emotions might cloud our judgment.
If you have a broken relationship, or tension in a relationship, don't leave it. Don't throw it away, like the throwaway generation. But don't think it'll fix itself. Think of how loved you are by God and bring that some love to the table. Humbly apologize. Boldly forgive. Kindly reach out. And see how God brings back to life those relationships that the enemy thought he had destroyed.
But those relationships that are toxic – don’t keep trying to resuscitate them. As Jesus said, shake the dust from your feet, and move on in peace.
