Disappointment Might Be the Best Thing For You
Jon Bloom is a writer who likes to take the Biblical stories and imagine some of the emotions and feelings that the characters went through. In his book Not By Sight, he tells the story of Joseph Barsabbas in Acts 1, who was a candidate to be the replacement of Judas and join the other 11 disciples. Lots are cast, and Joseph is not chosen. The role goes to Matthias instead. We never hear of Joseph again. Tradition has it that he later became Bishop in a nearby town and died a faithful Christian martyr.
In Bloom's book he imagines Joseph years later, having a conversation with a young man named Primus who is facing a disappointment of his own. The young disciple asks the old man "is it ok to be disappointed?" Here's how he responds in Bloom’s book:
What Soil is Your Disappointment Growing In?
"That depends. What kind of disappointment are we talking about?" asked the Bishop.
"I don't understand what you mean," the young man replied.
"The event of disappointment is when we are removed from or, as in your case, we are not granted an appointment - a role or responsibility or opportunity of some kind. These events can happen for reasons both good and evil. The emotion of disappointment, which is what we're talking about, results when that event occurs contrary to our hopes. Whether or not it's okay to feel disappointed depends on which soil it's growing in."
Primus looked at him blankly.
"Disappointment is similar to anger in that there are legitimate and illegitimate reasons to feel it. If some evil has caused the event of our disappointment, the emotion could be right because evil defiles God's glory. But whatever the cause, if our emotion is growing in the soil of love and faith, it will produce a righteous fruit, like contentment or just action or gracious forbearance. But if its roots are in the soil of selfishness, it will bear unrighteous fruit, like jealousy and selfish ambition, which are themselves evil and defile God's glory."
Did you get that? Whether or not it's ok to feel disappointed depends on the soil it's growing in. If your disappointment is rooted in the soil of selfishness and sin, it will bear unrighteous fruit. But if your disappointment is rooted in the soil of love and faith, it will produce good fruit – righteous fruit.
Turning Disappointment into Praise
To put it more simply: if you're disappointed because you're not receiving recognition or glory, or because you're not getting what you want, it will lead nowhere. But if in your disappointment you are led to your knees in prayer, and you are led to worshipping God and giving Him glory, and you are led to repentance and faith and trust, then God will produce wonderful things even out of your disappointment.
At the end of Bloom's little story, the old Bishop turns to the young man and says "Like me, one day you may look back on your disappointment as the best thing that never happened to you."
I like that! Because I know how true it is. I thank God for some of the things that never happened to me. Even though at the time, the disappointment was great! Even though at the time, I couldn't see how He would redeem the pain - I see now He has done it.
I can believe that the disappointments I am facing now, I will one day see redeemed and used for good.
Praise God! Praise God, that though the weeping may last the night… the joy comes in the morning!
Don't let your disappointments get the better of you, friends. Deal with them! Deal with disappointment, by refusing to let go of God's redemptive purpose for them.
Psalm 91 reveals God as a Person we can actively trust, who sustains our faith through suffering rather than shielding us from it. Bring your struggles to God today and lean on Him as your refuge and fortress.